Teaser Tuesdays- Stephany Simmons, Jeni Decker & Kat Nove

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Here are the rules for participating in this meme..
Grab your current read
Open to a random page
Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

Mine are (sorry just like I am having trouble with only 2 sentences - I also read more than 1 book at a time.):

VooDoo Dues by Stephany Simmons

"Evil is targeting my family." She kept walking, just ahead of us. "Pierre's death is only the latest harm done. We are cursed and I do not know who is responsible."

This is about 23% into the book.

Available on Amazon for $2.99:  http://www.amazon.com/Voodoo-Dues-Lian-Figg-ebook/dp/B005E8F77Y/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1311589575&sr=1-1

A Fit of Hissy: a Schlockumentary by Jeni Decker and Kat Nove

Since discovering these ladies, ( Twitter was never so wonderful), I have had to buy more undies. I find myself needing to shower and change them more often. I should buy Depends but I am not feeling like admitting I might need them to get through these books. I said might. Really.  Anyway, here is the teaser:

"Yes, I am. I wanted to memorize my copy of 'How to Please your Man in 20 Simple Steps, All of Them Involving Inconvenience and Discomfort to You', but I used it to club my ex-husband to death and the police confiscated it."

"That's a shame. It sounds like the type of book that would be helpful to you. Now go fetch me some coffee, and don't put any of those frilly girly things in it like cream and sugar."

Located about 4% into the book.

It truly sounds like breakfast at my house.  

Available on Amazon for 99 cents:  http://www.amazon.com/Fit-Hissy-schlockumentary-ebook/dp/B0052F3PQE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1311589399&sr=8-1

Hope you enjoyed my teasers. Please leave a comment with either where we can find yours or ,(if you are not participating in the blog hop), a teaser from whatever book you are reading. I love finding out about books I haven't found on my own. So please, however you got here, leave a comment and let me know what you are reading!