Review of Confessions of A Call Center Gal

Confessions of A Call Center Gal by Lisa Lim

Kindle Edition, 296 pages

Published February 25th 2011 by Giffin Press 

* I received this book for review by the author.  No promise of a good review was given. No compensation was offered or received. The opinions expressed are my honest feelings about the book*

From Good Reads:

A fun chick lit that may appeal to fans of Sophie Kinsella. Bridget Jones's Diary meets The Office. Madison Lee is a fresh college grad, ready to take on the world of print media. But she has zero luck landing a job. Unemployment is at ten percent and on the rise. Desperate and left with no other options, she accepts a position as a service rep at a call center in Pocatello, Idaho. At the Lightning Speed call center in Spudsville, Maddy plunges into the wild and dysfunctional world of customer service where Sales is prided over Service and an eight hour shift is equivalent to eight hours of callers bashing her over the phone. Oh sure, the calls are bad. But Maddy manages to find humor on the phone and off the phone. And with all the salacious drama behind the calls, there is never a dull moment at the Lightning Speed call center.
Lately . . . Maddy has been pining for her smolderingly gorgeous co-worker Mika Harket. Now things are heating up on the phone--and elsewhere. Don't hang up on this novel. Working at a call center has never been this garish . . . or this delightful.

***DISCLOSURES: If you find politically incorrect shows like The Office, South Park and Chelsea Lately detestable, childish and offensive, then this book is probably NOT for you

My Review:

When the author asked me to review her book she disclosed that it may be politically incorrect and possibly offensive in areas. My first thought was with enticement like that how can I pass up this opportunity? I'm a fun chick who is not always politically correct - heck I can't even keep up with what is and what isn't correct. I am always aware of others feelings and I am respectful so I no longer waste my time trying to keep everyone happy being politically correct or even trying to figure it out. I figured this would be a fun and interesting read. It was like being in the middle of a ....call center. I always wonder how things worked in a call center. Every time I get a call from them it sounds like a party in the background. I now know it sounds like that because it is that. 

Maddy and her friend Karsynn get jobs in a call center. They did not set out to be one of  those annoying people who you rarely understand and who aren't very helpful. They just needed a job. Maddy takes us from training to floor in a snarky fun way. Along the way we meet her coworkers , who are from different cultures, which provides more entertainment. We also get to peek inside Maddy and Kars private lives. We are privy to some of the calls which range from hilarious to heartbreaking. We learn about supervisor and Q&A who have no other goal than call turnover and selling of some product regardless of what is happening during the call. We learn about the stress that is placed on the call center employees and we hear the fun. I was entertained and was laughing out loud throughout the book. 

Author Lisa Lim has managed to change my perception of call center employees somewhat. I believe I may be kinder to the next ones I deal with, unless they have that annoying automated system that they force me to go through first. Then all bets are off and I am cranky. 

There is an excellent trailer made of the dream cast for Confessions of A Call Center Gal. It runs 2 minutes and is worth checking out if for nothing else than the song. Be sure to have your speakers on for this. It will make your day, especially if you work in a cubicle and are on the phones most of the time. Check it out.

And now I will give you two teasers from the book:

In a haste, I log off my phone, pop a Tylenol pill and saunter to Karsynn’s cubicle. Ingeborg skips over to join us, and then the three of us sashay to the Ladies room. 

Together. 

I don’t know what it is about us girls, but it’s like some sort of strange, unspoken ritual, necessitating us to tend to nature’s call together. 

I walk into a stall and use my elbow to shut the door behind me. Being the germ freak that I am, I tear off some toilet paper and mummify my hand so my fingers don’t touch the handle or the lock. Next, I tear off more toilet paper and strategically place it on the toilet seat before carefully setting my bum down. 

Karsynn, the self-proclaimed space craft, is already hovering over her toilet. I know this for a fact because she’s hovering so high that it sounds like rain drops hitting the pavement. 

Since I barely know Ingeborg, I haven’t the slightest idea what her toilet technique is. 

“So how did your calls go?” Karsynn talks over the sound of her raining pee. 

“Mine started off real bad, but then it got better.” I raise my voice so as to be heard over the toilets flushing around me. 

Kars cries huffily, “Well mine sucked big time!” 

Suddenly, without warning or provocation, my toilet flushes. “Ugh!” I moan peevishly. “Don’t you just hate these motion-sensored toilets?” 

I leap into the air like my bum’s caught on fire. “Hey! I wasn’t done yet!” I glare at my toilet reprovingly. 

Oh! The nerve of it! Now I’m paranoid that some nasty toilet water has sprayed up my bum. Mental note to myself: bring baby wipes next time.

Lisa Lim. Confessions of a Call Center Gal: a novel (Kindle Locations 938-955).

“Thanks for calling Lightning Speed Communications. This is Maddy, how can I help?” I flip through my new tabloid magazine; it’s a much needed distraction from this scandal that Karsynn’s purportedly embroiled in. 

The caller demands in a distinctly British accent, “Oiiii! AM I CALLING BLOODY INDIA?!?” “Yes sir, you’re calling India. And I’m a slumdog living in the slums of Mumbai,” I inform him blandly. “Happy now?” 

“Ecstatic,” he says with contempt. 

Sheesh! Right this minute, I wish I was actually Indian so I can rant ‘And you’re a bloody British Imperialist who colonized my country for centuries, exploiting my good people.’ 

“And I’ll bet you’re reading some daft tabloid magazine like People,” spits the hoity-toity, Earl Grey tea drinking bastard. 

Bwarhahaha! I’m laughing inside. Yes, I happen to be reading a gossip mag. But it’s not People, it’s US Weekly.

 Nevertheless, I refuse to dignify his asinine question with an answer. I mean, c’mon already. What does he expect me to say? That I’m reading Hemmingway? Nietzsche? Rushdie? Or Dostoyevsky? Shakespeare perhaps? 

Duh! I can’t focus on heavy lit when I have a job to do. 

Reading tabloids uses zero brain cells; hence it is very work appropriate.

 “Go on. Tell me,” he taunts. “You’re reading People magazine, aren’t you?” he repeats snidely. Disdaining to answer him, I get straight down to business. “Sir, I’ll need to ask you a few questions to verify you.” 

“WHAT?” he barks and goes ape shit on me. “BLOODY NORA! THIS IS BOLLOCKS! SHITE MAN, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME? YOU WANT MY FARKIN BLOOD TYPE??? MY DNA?” 

Cor Blimey. Holy London Bridge Is Falling Down. This bloke swears like Gordon Ramsay. In training, I learned the term for what this dick is trying to do. He’s trying to ‘hook’ me by pushing all my red buttons, hoping to get some sort of a reaction out of me. 

And, I’m supposed to stay calm by not taking his ‘bait.’

 This jerk is such a class act that I simply refuse to give him the satisfaction of taking his bait. Over my dead body! 

Taking a sharp intake of breath, I press on, “No sir, I do not need your blood type, nor do I need your DNA,” I say in a calm and collected manner. “But what I do need is your first and last name.” The fact that I do not take his ‘bait’ only serves to infuriate him further. He continues hurling obscenities at me. 

“FARK MAN! YOU HAVE ALL MY INFORMATION YOU NINCOMPOOP! I PUNCHED IT ALL IN BEFORE I EVEN GOT TO YOU!” 

“I apologize sir, but I never got it. So I will need to verify you again,” I say breezily. 

“YOU FOCKIN IGNORANT MORONIC TWAT! YOU’RE RUBBISH! RUBBISH! THIS IS A FOCKIN CHARADE AND I’M NOT DEALING WITH THIS FOCKIN SHIT! SOD OFF AND GET ME YOUR SODDING SUPERVISOR!” 

“One moment please,” I sing-song sweetly.

Lisa Lim. Confessions of a Call Center Gal: a novel (Kindle Locations 1771-1803). 

Confessions of A Call Center Gal is available at Smashwords, Amazon Kindle and Amazon Print.

Lisa Lim is a Good Reads author. You can find her page HERE

For her website CLICK HERE

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